Ah, springtime is nigh around the corner and it should come as no surprise that minds will give way to matters of the heart. No you silly goose, not cardiac arrest, but the act of being arrested in love!
I, Little Lord Fauntleroy, have decided to share a few share some tips and tricks to fetching the attention of a new beau or jo.
Firstly, dress-to-the-nines everyday. Only festal garb bedecked in the finest velvets and silks will catch the eye of a potential suitor. Women, only the most lavish French couture will suffice. Gentlemen, I cannot oversell the necessity of a fine codpiece. But, nothing unbecomingly stupendous, otherwise you'll not be cumming then, stupid.
Titter, titter, titty.
Now, once the proper attire and accouterments have been obtained, put out an order into the meeting market. Perambulate yourself to the closest salon/public house/emporium. Now it is time to offer your wares. But be wary of sycophants as they usually offer syphilis.
Cackle, cackle, cuckold.
Lastly, and most importantly, you must take your new playmate into your bedding chambers. Now it is time to consummate your bonking. While many prefer a contraceptive, most are receptive to hump like dogs
Guffaw, guffaw, Guy Fawkes
You have now been informed on how to date, now go forth and procreate.
Pooh-pooh, pooh-pooh, Turd.